Finding a Balance in Motherhood?

You probably just laughed when I tried to catagorise motherhood and balance in the same sentence.

I just shared a post on my Instagram page about how by having balance in my life, being a mum and being me, and how that serves me. It makes me a better mum and a better person. It's taken me a long time to figure that out. I got a great response from the post and thought it was worth delving into the subject some more.

Let's be honest we generally all get thrown into being a mum, we start with our preconceived ideas and expectations. We then start to visualise the experience and what our new family will look like. Probably lots of fun, laughing, happiness and generally a great deal of self fulfilment as your new role a "MUM".

What I then think happens is we realise there's a lot of crying, sleep deprivation, showering at 5pm and loss of a normal routine, nappies, feeds and a partner who becomes a strange creature to you.

The life you had visualised as being super amazing and joyful, becomes mundane and monotonous. It seems that "fun" often gets left at the door and we are soo busy with keeping up with the baby, the endless feeds or bottles, whose making dinner and what time is it questions? That you look up at the end of the day at the tired mess and wonder who am I now? Who are you?

The beginning of motherhood doesn't have much balance and you throw yourself into the role with 110%, often leaving a lot of what was important to you behind.

For me I realised I needed balance after of course struggling to do everything for everyone and be what everyone needed. The person I forgot was myself. It becomes hard to ask for help or time away as you don't really want to be away, you want to see every moment and share every milestone. But what happens is you become a less than great version of yourself, not only for your children, your partner but even yourself.

You have no patience or time for yourself so the voice inside your head may be telling you less than positive, energetic thoughts, your body may be responding with sluggish responses and your partner may be telling you "you seem very grumpy lately" - did you even notice that had happened? in your tired, sugary fog of survival.

I think it's important to sit in these thoughts and figure out what is important to you? Is it some exercise once a day? Is it making yourself something yummy each day to look forward to? Is it reading a few pages of a book? Is it taking 2 hours on a Sunday to go shopping or for a coffee with a friend? Is it a non interrupted KUWTK episode? Once you make a list of what you enjoy it becomes easier to prioritise those things.

For me, once I started to incorporate doing some of these things and I include part time work in this category as this also gives me a break and social interaction, I found that I was a much better person and mum. My patience was back, my caring attitude was there, my energy returned and I was generally nicer to myself.

I now include balance in everything I do, whether it's time out from the family, or planned family days. Eating healthy or scheduling a night off and getting a take away. I try and balance things out as much as possible. For me it helps. I try and reduce the expectations on myself and set realistic goals.

So if you need balance in your life, try write a list and put it somewhere you can go to when you feel you need a pick me up or you need to plan some time out. Once you take some time for yourself you will be amazed at how much better everything else feels and is manageable!